Monday, May 31, 2010


A gal I used to work with forwarded this to a hoot!

The 2010 Federal Census For Rednecks 

Last name:________________ 

First name: (Check appropriate box) 
(_) Billy-Bob 
(_) Billy-Joe 
(_) Billy-Ray 
(_) Billy-Sue 
(_) Billy-Mae 
(_) Billy-Jack 

What does everyone call you? 
(_) Booger 
(_) Bubba 
(_) Junior 
(_) Sissy 
(_) Flo
(_) Other___________________ 

Age:____ (if unsure, guess) 

Sex:____ M_____ F_____ Not sure 

Shoe Size:____ Left____ Right 

Occupation: (Check appropriate box) 
(_) Farmer 
(_) Mechanic 
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Waitress
(_) Unemployed   
(_) Dirty Politician 
(_) Preacher 

Spouse’s Name:_________________________ 
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________ 
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________ 
Lover’s Name:___________________________ 

Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box(es))
(_) Sister 
(_) Brother 
(_) Aunt 
(_) Uncle 
(_) Cousin 
(_) Mother 
(_) Father 
(_) Son 
(_) Daughter 
(_) Pet 

Number of children living in household:_____ 
Number of children living in shed:______ 
Number that are yours:______ 

Mother’s Name:_______________________(If not sure, leave blank) 
Father’s Name:_______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) 
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) 

Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) 

Total number of vehicles you own:___ 
Number of vehicles that still crank:___ 
Number of vehicles in front yard:___ 
Number of vehicles in back yard:___ 
Number of vehicles on cement blocks:___ 

Firearms you own and where you keep them: 
____ truck 
____ bedroom 
____ bathroom 
____ kitchen 
____ shed 

Model and year of your pickup: 196_ 

Do you have a gun rack? 
(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain: 

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: 
(_) The National Enquirer 
(_) The Globe 
(_) TV Guide 
(_) Soap Opera Digest 
(_) Rifle and Shotgun 

Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____ 
Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____ 
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____ 

How often do you bathe: 
(_) Weekly 
(_) Monthly 
(_) Not Applicable 

Color of eyes: 
Left______ Right_____ 

Color of hair: 
(_) Blond 
(_) Black 
(_) Red 
(_) Brown 
(_) White 
(_) Clairol 

Color of teeth: 
(_) Yellow 
(_) Brownish-Yellow 
(_) Brown 
(_) Black 
(_) N/A 

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: 

How far is your home from a paved road? 
(_) 1 mile 
(_) 2 miles 
(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler 
(_) road?

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